W.W.M.D? ( what would Madonna do?)

Do you think Madonna would adopt this African child? I would have to guess....NO!
It took Madonna a few platinum albums, being crucified on every tour, to make a sex book, and to date Michael Jackson, to finally realize, I want to help the less fortunate than me. So where does every celebrity go to prove a big point, to Africa. Thats a great idea. Go to a country where an penny can feed a child for a year. YAY!!! to celebrity's like Madonna, Basically it makes a statement like " ME, RICH, WHITE LADIE, YOU POOR PEOPLE....HA HA HA".
How about we tell Madonna and other celebrity's, from this point on, why dont you give all your profits that you make, to poor African children? NO!!!! thats unrealistic, but what is realistic is ask the millions of poor Americans to donate, the money that they don't have to these causes.
Why are we praising these ccelebrity's for doing "good"? Do we not see that this is a trend among the rich and the famous? By next year the new Crises would be "feed the Eskimos". You know cause all of a sudden their starving and need rescue from their climate. You know and the whales attack have gone from 3 to 4 in the past 5 years. DONATE NOW!
We as Americans are sometimes blind, or even dumb founded by a celebrity holding a starving child....only if that celebrity, had a hit movie or a number one song. What about Sally Struthers? Everyone made fun of her for going to Africa, befor it got all trendy.

Afro, no, Its a KOFRO

OK!!! WE GET IT...your Korean and your mom does not speak english. Your a fag hag and you have wieght issues....Lets talk about something else. I still stand by my whole thing on Ms. Cho......When ever she tells jokes about her gay friends, It makes me want to become a straight person who hates Koreans, and punch her in the stomach...Take that, This one is for Cho momma...

The Great Pie Trap

I used yo adore lemon merengue as a child. That used to my favorite desert, My mouth would water at any sign of this lemon treat. I used to love the light, fluffy, topping, that made the pie so tempting. So now I'm older and frankly, I think its one of the sickest pies out there, next to chocolate pudding pie. This pie is a TRAP! It lures you with its white goodness, and then you take you first indulgent bite, and BAM! your in lemon hell, you fall straight down. You get stuck in this golden yellow quick sand. People should stop making this! Is it even made of real lemons? Or just lemon juice? This pie has become my worst enemy, I loath you Lemon merengue, I loath you.

DEAR BLOG, Its me

I know the last post was me venting and even though I mean it, there might be someof you out there that have that on your page. So I want to appoligize, by saying....

I'm SURI

MYSPACE:PLEASE!!!STOP IT!!!!!I KILL ME NOW

You know someone is a lame ass, when they have one of these on there myspace page. I can't stand these "South Park" create your own Chracter things. They drive me up the wall!!! Is iti suppose to be so COOl, man or funny? It's neither! When will the madness end? Its as anoying as that random,clipart , flash of lips or something and it says "thanks for the add", or that asian kid dancing in a black dress. Enough people, Those things seperate the loser from the rest. There should be rules to these things.....RULE #1: DON'T. Can we PLEEEEAASSSSEEE, gets some originality?....All that shit is making the "myspace" world As lame as it is already. No more girl with fucked up teeth saying, look it I found your girlfriend. WE GET IT!!!!! HA HA! Its as funny when I saw it 900 times ago on everyones page,
I REALLY CANT FUCKEN STAND IT.....I think I just beat my dog to death, due to the result of this blog.

Why were you Famous?

I hate Sinbad. I don't even know why he is famous. He's the equivalent to your annoying uncle that farts and talks like donald duck to make you laugh. NOT FUUNY.

THIS JUST IN...

Was mac and me even a bigger Rip off than we think?

(thanks hot mom)

Thats so RAVEN

Raven Symone Had a short Stint at being a hip hop artist at the height of her "Cosby Show" career. I love Raven, as much as the next person, but there is none next to me at this point. "Heres' to new dreams" was a C.D that came out and honestly, like Millions of celebraties out there, New dreams became one star in the mass universe of celebratie C.D.s. I don't know much, but I do know that she had made a track called "Hip-Hop teddy bear". The song was aimed towards the Youth of america. Campy, yes, Educational, No.
Here are the lyrics to the song, every body sing along:

"Hip Hop Teddy Bear
Hip Hop Teddy Bear

hickory dickory dock
yes yes ya'll and we dont stop left foot right foot any foot at all
lets get on the dance floor at this palace ball
little Jack corner just sits in the corner hes a pot of fire his face heats warmer
someones at the door knock knock whos there its Jimmy crack corn and I dont care
whos on the microphone
in the hot chair I do declare
its the hip hop teddy bear doodle doodle doodle with your ryhmes and riddles the monkeys in the middle while the cat plays the fiddle
maybe its man but you still have to dance cause hip hop teddy bears always there
so come on everybody gather around the grove even mother goose & Dr. sues get spooked cause
The Hip Hop Its My Jam Teddy Bear 4x
paddy cake paddy cake 123 sing another ryhme for the nursery
Jake & Jill is on the wheels still we just chill from noon until the palace is piling
at the bouncing ball humpty dumpty just sits on the wall
Cinderella brought a fella
and hes dressed in white she leaves otta site just before mid night
well tear up the let the bridges fall down the hip hop teddy bear with the funky sound
goldy locks on the spot and she rocks
non-stop everybody in the house say hip hop hip hop
and you dont stop
hes my buddy hes my pal hes my very best friend cause hes so cool
I wanna hang with him cause hes the
Hip Hop Its My Jam Teddy Bear 4x
here we go here we go
its my jam I like that
its my jam I'm outta here boy
Hip Hop Teddy Bear 9x"

Do you have a headache yet?

I love her

Thanks Mike!!!!
http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/

Hogan knows best

When I was young, I used to watch The Hogan family. Today, I can't even remember one episode. I can't even remember these characters name, and....frankley...to lazy to do my research on this stupid show.
So, what sparked me to do this blog? Well....The picture sparked an interest. I know I had a "crush" on each of them at different times. I forget which one I liked first. Which came first the chicken or the egg? I don't know, maybe, I'll remember later.
Now, I ask myself again...who strikes you? My answer would be the one with the Zack Morriss sweater on. Maybe, because there is is that Butch factor going on. Now, the other one, not so much. He looks Like a CREEP.

I don't get this

I HATE THIS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.....Why did I find this?

Crystal Clear

All the Celebraties with Glass eyes step to the front please.....

Mac & Cheese

What was the whole fascination with ripping off trend big blockbusters in the 80's? You have your Gremlins to your Ghoulies, and you have this treasure, Mac And Me, the poor man's E.T. I hate this movie with a passion! It's almost to the point of insulting my intelegence. Did they think that we would not recognize the similarities of it trying to be E.T. ?
Geez....I think everyone needs to rent this and watch this, if you have never scene this disaster.
Basically, here is the outline of why this is such a ripp off of E.T:
1. boy finds an allien in a rural area, gives him a fucked up name
2.Alien is trying to find his way home, and trys to communicate.
3.the aliens family is looking for him, they search far and wide
4.the kid gets the alien hooked on sugar, in this movie, it was coke.
5. Boy tries to hide the alien from the world
6. alien finds his family

Ok...so now lets do an outline of why this movie is in no way like E.T., because, to the producers, Mcdonalds and MGM, this is nothing like E.T., it's diffrent( as they say it with a wink):
1. Sad, but true, they make the kid a cripple and pair him up with an obnioxious friend.
2.at one point, they take mack to mcdonalds, in a bear costume, where he dances on the tables
3. They family gets reunited due to the boys help, they become citizen of California, and drive away in a pink cadilac...................WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!
They really expected us to buy this shit?
If they really wanted to make a knock of of E.T., Why could'nt they produce a porno?...A porno with the same storyline, but the alien had three nuts.
They could have titled it.....E.T.: THE EXTRA TESTICLE.

Danny Cooksey....you scare me

In the last seasons of "Diff'rent strokes", Gary Colman lost his cute charm, he just became a wierd looking little man, Dana Plato was no longer on the show, and Todd,well, He just blended in with the funiture.
Q:So what would any normal,depreciating, sitcom do under the cloud of sit-com death?
A: Bring in the most annoying looking and acting kid, Danny Cooksey, A.K.A "Sam Mckinney".
That annoying little spit fire, with the red Super-bowl of all bowl cuts. What were they thinking? Lets get a new Arnold? No one can top Arnold, you would have to fill some big shoes, or little shoes, or.....whatever, you get my point. Did they not learn anything with Cousin Oliver, from The Brady Bunch?
I'm glad in the darkness of the shadow, they needed a light, so they brought in the lovely Dixie Carter. They were kind of smart, they knew the audiance would be needing a ying to a really bad, annoying yang. It calmed me down to hear, the future, Ms.Sugerbaker, say " Now,Sam....Eat your super...it's gonna get cold".
So...Now, where did that falling star land? He had a small role, As Eddie "FUCKING" Ferlongs, Rebeliouse good friend in "Terminator 2:judgment day" where he traded in his bowl cut for a mullet (oh....Danny....quit it with the bad hair choices,will ya). He was also in a short lived show the early 90's called Camp wannaeatyour shorts or something like that, at this point I don't care, and Frankly, this is porbably the only type of homage out there to him in this day and age. His life is as loud as an echo, loud at first but just fades.
I did my research, and I found out that there is a "Cooskey clan". Kind of like Hanson on acid. His journey continued, with his brothers, in a band called "Bad 4 Good".
Bad4Good was a heavy metal band formed in 1991 by guitarist Steve Vai. It was the Cooskey Brothers, Jamming off of there brothers Little success.
I wonder if Dixie Picked up there C.D, in support of her "good friend". If she did, I'm pretty sure she enjoys track number 3 'Bangin' time again".

The last thing I tried to read, but got bored and decided at some point in this story, any succes he displays is irrelevant. Or at least would like to think so. So I guess he is doing some voice over stuff for some cartoon, A job that seems to be popular with aging child actors, who look like they have turned into Garbage Pail kids.

What do you do?

Do I laugh with her?

GLAM-MA OF THE WEEK

A gift of Granola

I know its good to be creative, and recycle and stuff, but whats going on here? Is this some sort of a lesbian version of a dream catcher? Does it trap the Great "MUFF"prusuit? ANd when did Starwars figures become artwork for walls? MAY THE GRANOLA BE WITH YOU!

I will be your father figure,put your tiny hands in mine...

I hope this kid turns out to be the biggest Barbera Striesand lover out there.

Carnage face kids

I feel sorry for the kid who had hoped for a Cabbage Patch Kid for Christmas, and got this instead.

Screw the golden years!

Have you ever wondered where the golden girls and the silver foxes get there outfits? Not only comfort, but style, age appropriate, but with a little P'nash? Check out some of the current trends in leisure wear:

Page 1: "SASSY GAL"

10-1: "Fresh and Floral": feeling a little humble? Are the girls teasing you? Do they tell you, "Jane....you smell like death farted on you", Don't worry, you'll have their noses ready for your presence, with style"Fresh and floral" .Its gonna Look like you just rolled in a garden, and not fell in one.

10-4:" Lolly-Polly": Brighten up your drab wardrobe with The "lolly-polly". When you just had cake, but the cake wont have you. Don't stress, easy no hassle dress, can make life easy on the "golden pot". no crazy snaps to pro-long you from Proving your point to the cake, "oh no mr. cake....I got this under control".

10-6:"Helter Skelter": Every one knows a wild, rambunctious Glam-ma, who just likes to "kick back", every now and then. This Smock is perfect! Hey sexy Momma, drive them foxes crazy!

Sex drawf

Don't ask me how I found this picture....but lets give him a name, I think I will call him,Princess toad stool.

Did I miss the memo?

Cornfed Vs Cornrows

Umm....what do you think your doing mister? Whats with the braids and pony-beads? Did you lose a bet? Did you think this hair-do was so "exotic"? What ever it is, You should have thought about it. White guys with braids are as silly as white guys with afros.

I don't Get it

Looking at this picture has had me scratching my head so long, I think my scalp is beeding. Ok.....your a Drag queen that just got out of the military, and you clean windows? Are you a tranny in training, and there is some transvestite boot camp outthere?

Let's do the time crap again

If you plan to do the time warp, and go see the Rocky Horror Picture Show...please don't, if this is the best you can do. There is a right way and a wrong way to dress up and pay homage to this classic b-movie, and this is not the right way. This looks like a mess....It looks like if some director decided to bring together "FlashDance","Staying Alive", and "Rocky Horror", in one big cornacopia of gay rainbow colored vomit, and called it A film.

Drag Race

If we all drove cars that resembled shoes, You know the drag queen comunity would all be driving this hot pink Heel. This model is called the "Manolo Mobile". I can picture the upper class Driving up to a ritzy place, getting the valets attention, and say "pardon me....can you park my shoe". Better yet...When you put some rims on it, and get a system...you can simply say...."I PUMPED My car"...

To all the modest people out there......

.....things can be worst, you could look like a peanut in drag.

Bag of oranges

Is this how the Japanese culture perceives us Americans to be? Looking like we took a bath in tang. Orange, Blonde and Glitzy, So Hollywood, So Paris....Hilton, that is. Who in America looks like an Happy Orange wearing neon and animal prints? The only oranges I see are at the market or being sold at the corners, along with roses and peanuts.
Lets give this Japanese "trend" a hand. I would love to read an article in a Japanese Fashion mag. I can see it now...." Orange is the new Black". I'm just waiting for the trend of adopting african babys to hit the streets of Harajuku. Because you know, Black babys make the best accesoire, they match your new Gucci bag. And besides, Chihuahuas...were so last season.

She uses Tussy

Do you think she's looking for a man? or She looks like a man?Don't know, but she's letting us know "I charge by the hour". I would have love to have seen this in person. Imagine this drunk Jabberwaki, Pumping and a griding acting like a "Who you calling a ho?" circus act.
If you use your imagination, just picture a toilet behind her. That expression on her face would be the look of complete gratification, after taking the biggest rice poo of the day, from days of constiopation.
You keep on doing what you do stranger, and will keep doing what were doing....ignoring you.

Gay bars: The new creature cantina

SCARY MONSTER, SUPER CREEP

Gay bars are like an empty bags of chips, you can search for a whole chip, but all your gonna find are crumbs.

Wanna here my new pick up line?

BEAT IT!!!CREEP!

NIGHTSTALKER

I was just remembering a moment in my life. It was the mid 80's, I think it was the summer of '85. I was like 8 or 9. My dad had just got his new pick-up truck, and decided to take the imediate family, my aunt and my cousin Phillip to San Pedro. It was on a Sunday, a clear day, very nice. We all went to the pier, Ate some seafood....I remember....I had Lobster....It was so good. We saw the sights and decided to leave by 9:30.


It was My cousin, my sister and Myself, in the back of the blue carpeted cab of the truck. I was siting against the front end of the cab. I had purchased a toy shark, made of rubber, that squeeked. I was keeping myself entertained with it, I used to love plastic animals.The night was kind of weird, it was not a hot summer night, but a Breezy one. On the way back home, I looked out the window. I looked at all the lighted street sighns, resturaunt sighns and all the people scatter home.


I remember my outfitt that day...I was wearing Green dove shorts, some white tennis, and a white shirt. I don't know what that has to do with this story, but I thought I would throw it in, because I love the phrase "DOVE SHORTS". Anyways, My cousin Phillip called my name. And I answered "what?". If I knew, what was comming next, I would not be writing this right now. "So.l..what are you gonna do if the nightstalker breaks in your house? he likes Yellow houses".


AND I JUST LET ONE LOOSE....


Yeah, He made me shit my pants. In total shock and sitting in my own stool, I did not answered. I did not even let anyone know I shited my pants. I soon, got home and went to see the damage. Asked my mom if I can shower, and went to bed...scared out of my mind.

Raise your hand...if your TUSSY...

Q:What is this?. What Planet is this from? And why did someone decide to name a deorderant "TUSSY"?

I remember this a couple years back at the dollar store. The name stuck with me all these years. I decided to explore the great world wide web in search of "Tussy" answers. But as I dug deep, and all I found out was that it's simply cheap deorderant. The name puzzles me..."TUSSY". I think that someone who worked for the company, with a lisp, smelled it and yelled out...."DIs Shit stinks like TUSSY"! and the name was born.